How Mike Johnson Stole Christmas
Let's start with healthcare, then move to food benefits
Good morning, friends. I imagine I’m not the only person who occasionally (or in my case, regularly) makes the colossal mistake of checking the news feed when getting up to use the bathroom in the wee hours of the morning. I’m on PST, so that would be 3:00 a.m. here in California. I will not be returning to bed anytime soon.
Mike Johnson (aka Santa) and all of his elves have been working overtime to gut our healthcare system, and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. (aka master cobbler) is facilitating a resurgence in vaccine-preventable diseases. What a wonderful way to celebrate the birth of Christ — by coming up with every possible way to kill people.
There is so very much to look forward to this coming year… shall we buy groceries or get healthcare? Lord knows many (or most) of us will not be able to afford both. Will we be able to make our car payments and mortgages, what with the economy and job market tanking and all?
This morning’s and week’s healthcare headlines:
"VA plans to abruptly eliminate tens of thousands of health care jobs"
— WaPo
"House Republicans propose healthcare plan with no extension of tax credits"
— The Guardian
"Senate rejects plans to address sharp rise in health care premiums"
— PBS
"GOP health care chaos spills into battleground midterm races"
— Politico
"GOP moves to let Obamacare subsidies expire as Trump promises ‘money to the people’"
— Politico
"FDA intends to put its most serious warning on Covid vaccines, sources say"
— CNN
"US facing second measles surge this year as outbreak accelerates in South Carolina"
— CNN
"CDC Advisory Panel Rolls Back Universal Hepatitis B Vaccine Recommendation"
— Today Show
"Florida Health Department takes step toward eliminating 4 child vaccine mandates"
— Miami Herald
"The CDC revives debunked ‘link’ between childhood vaccines and autism"
— NPR
"The agriculture secretary says SNAP changes are coming. Here’s what we know"
— NPR
Let me briefly summarize all of this Christmas cheer for you:
🎁 The GOP will be axing another 35,000 VA healthcare jobs, on top of the 30,000 they axed earlier in the year. This will likely tank a system already under great strain. To be clear: Congress (i.e., the GOP) is expanding the military budget by $900 billion, while simultaneously gutting the VA’s healthcare system.
The GOP’s holiday message to vets:
We intend to build up the military for wars and interventions that will put money in the pockets of the President’s family (think Venezuela, Honduras, and Bitcoin), but those of you currently on deployment will be screwed at the end of your time served. And for those who’ve already served our country, who cares?!
🎁 The GOP will be causing healthcare premiums to double or triple starting in January of 2026. Yes, that means much higher fees and larger deductibles for everyone, not just Democrats, and not just those currently benefitting from the ACA.
The GOP’s holiday message #1 to all Americans:
We’re not paying for your goddamn healthcare. Yes, we are aware these are ultimately your tax dollars at work for you, but we cannot continue taxing the 10% that hold 75% of the wealth in this country, or they will cut off our slush funds. Sorry, but not sorry, folks. This comes down to basic math.
🎁 The GOP has allowed the 13 agencies under Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.’s purview (think FDA, Medicare, Medicaid, CDC, NIH, etc.) to kick science to the curb, to bring on vaccine and nutrition conspiracy theorists, and to end life-saving policies that protect people and save lives.
The GOP’s holiday message #2 to all Americans:
We prefer that a malignant narcissist and Trump loyalist, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Secretary of Health and Human Services, a man who holds no medical or public health degrees or certifications, call all the shots on public health, even though his uninformed policies will inevitably lead to health crises and death.
🎁 The GOP intends to “completely deconstruct the [SNAP] program,” according to Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins. Tens of millions of low-income Americans stand to lose all of their food benefits this coming year.
The GOP’s holiday message to low-income Americans:
We hope you and your children die of starvation.
Merry Christmas to all, may you all end up dead.
— The Grand Old Party, 12/13/25
In my estimation, the rapture cannot come soon enough. Envision all of those “believers” being taken away, to be with their Lord, thereby ending their earthly lives (and all of our agony).
Though I’m an atheist, I do pray for this.
And just to make sure all bases are covered, I’ve included my rapture request in my letter to Santa. Not sure if he’s got the right connections, but hey, it’s worth a try.