Shit Just Got Real

A first argument: scary. The makeup sex: damn.

Yesterday, I apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and I didn’t even realize it. I proceeded to go about my day as if I was in a cheerful mood, which I would soon find out I was not. Let’s be clear: I am 62 years old, so this was not PMS. Also, I passed through to the dark side over 10 years ago and was, by some fucking miracle, free of all those nasty menopausal symptoms. My point: this was just garden-variety bitchy, not hormonal.

And let’s be clear - the BF - super cool, chill guy. Remarkably, disturbingly so. Also, his initial “infraction” was not clearly an infraction, it was just a cheerful music video he sent my way (“Fever”) with some good-looking woman flipping her long dark hair and shaking her fake tits as she danced and lip-synced to the tune. Unfortunately, the video did not strike me as cheerful, not even remotely. It was incredibly irritating, and the woman looked like someone the BF once had an interest in. Then, whoa (!), the green monster reared its ugly head.

My response to the video was an ice cube emoji: 🧊. (quit laughing) His response to all of this, well, it was quite unpleasant and included phrases like “crazy woman,” “chill, girl,” and "let’s explore the dynamic of your unconscious motivation.” Condescending as shit. Then I responded fiercely with a suggestion we take some time off. WTF! The last thing I wanted was time off. All I was doing was shooting myself in the foot. I regretted my words the second I hit send. FUCK.

Let me fill you in, in case you’ve not already figured this out: I am a handful. A loving handful, but nonetheless, you know. And BF is The Man in everything he does. It’s what I love about him, but as I realized last night, it’s also the thing that drives me fucking nuts. He is Mr. Perfect, never getting ruffled, never biting back. And he should be getting pissed off from time to time because this is life, and he is human.

Yesterday, BF got pissed. I texted stuff he didn’t like, and he texted back words I didn’t like. It felt like a magnitude 8 earthquake. Subsequently, a call was made, and within minutes, equilibrium restored. Just like that. I guess our relationship was pretty well retrofitted because this first shaking of the foundation, though scary, did not bring down the house. In fact, not one teacup fell off the wall.

After work, we decided to go up to the ranch for a fancy dinner of cottage cheese and berries, and we sat on the deck for a long while, discussing our differences. It felt really good to be disagreeing on a litany of things as we enjoyed a beautiful sunset. He called me on my shit, I called him on his. I mentioned how smoking hot he was when he got pissed, then he stripped down to almost nothing, and I nearly lost my mind.

I don’t need to tell you how the rest of the evening progressed.

Let’s just chalk this up to the rhythm of love. 🔥