Temporary Insanity
What happens when a great guy comes along
Yep. I blew through every dating red flag I have ever written about, and here I am “involved.” And we both know that this is a state of mind where responsible decision-making goes to die. And you know what? I don’t care! “Don’t,” by the way, is the abbreviation for dopamine, which I have been overdosing on for the last six days. The one-week “anniversary” of my insanity is tomorrow. What the hell has happened to me?!
What does dopamine look like exactly? The answer: Dougal McKenzie from Outlander. What does dopamine sound like? “Aye. Ye should not be here. But since ye are, there's a penalty to pay for that.” Oh, Doug, where do I turn myself in? Be sure your “Doug” does his best imitation of a Scottish accent when he says that to you. And if there’s no budget for a kilt, just use a little potting soil and water. It’ll do the trick. Dirty is good.
If he’s not got the Scottish accent nailed, perhaps refer him to this handy video (this guy is a good warmup act for your headliner - “Doug”):
Here's what dopamine does to your skin… it’s like flaming hot, nonstop. I can’t turn down the temp. And if there is a picture of “Doug” anywhere nearby, my cheeks stay this way all day. My girlfriends are like, “What the fuck is up with you?” And they mean that in the best way. It feels great, damn. If there is a 12-step program for this addiction, screw that. I won’t be attending. I am staying on this ride until the park closes. My only worry is that after “Doug” sees this column, the park may close early. I sure hope not. I don’t want this to end.
I know that, SADLY, many of you read Men on Pause for my sage advice. I am sorry to disappoint you. My advice is no longer sage, more like cayenne pepper. Super spicy from here on out. All my previous advice: absolute horseshit. At least today and likely for the rest of… well, who knows, let’s not go there, just yet.
So what exactly does dopamine do to a person, you ask? Well… it’s a neurotransmitter that causes feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, and it motivates you to do things you may not have felt like doing for years because you had too much laundry to fold. I know many of you wonder how I got my dopamine fix, and since I’m no lady, I’ll tell you: SEX. Giovanna Castro from Tufts University had this to say: “When we orgasm, our brain becomes flooded with dopamine in our reward pathways in the limbic system. This feels so intensely pleasurable that it looks just like a heroin rush to the brain, producing intense feelings of well-being.” There you go. Sums up what’s going on over here.
This week’s advice: when something this good comes along, try not to think too hard about it, or you may find yourself missing out on the best thing ever. Seriously.
Thanks “Doug.” Hugely. 🔥🔥🔥