The Road To Shambala
CONTENT WARNING: super raunchy + some lovely thoughts
First order of business: Thank you, Doug. My libido dial is now cranked up to 10, and I have sincerely never felt better. Never, ever. Some would call you my muse; there is no disagreement there, but I would add you are also my fuse. I am on fire.
Hey… all you guys out there, a hint: sometimes it’s how you speak to a woman that makes all the difference in the world. If you light her on fire, the world will be your oyster.
Guys, know this - the female response to your voice, words, and mating dance is not something you can control. THE FEMALE IS IN CHARGE. What you have to do is speak your authentic voice, and when the woman who is looking for a Scottish brogue hears you, she will connect with you at the deepest level, and then, voilà, you are in. A perfect fit. This is EXACTLY what happens with birds. Check out the beautiful call to lovemaking by this handsome nightingale…
Doug is just like this nightingale. He has been magically dialed in since day 1, just speaking his truth as he went about his shall-I-say-relentless texting. Truth be told, I matched him text for text and then some.
How Doug knew what song to sing, I can’t explain… but it took my breath away. I’m going to ascribe it to his having exactly the right mating call, for me. Doug’s mating call involved poetry, the really good stuff, and beautiful classical music - and both affected me deeply. That’s me: a poetry, serious music sort. Doug’s earliest bird call:
Had we but world enough and time, This coyness, lady, were no crime. We would sit down, and think which way To walk, and pass our long love’s day. Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide Of Humber would complain. I would Love you ten years before the flood, And you should, if you please, refuse Till the conversion of the Jews. To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell
Absolutely fucking smokin’. Doug knocked it out of the ballpark. How did he know I would respond to these beautiful words with a massive, all-day dopamine flush (and other unmentionable responses)? The answer: he didn’t. He just put it out there, and it happened. Shortly thereafter came Fauré’s Pavane, my favorite melody EVER, something I have played on my flute hundreds of times, with orchestras, at weddings, and for myself, alone in my studio. I clicked on the link he texted and found myself sitting on a rock under a cascading waterfall of ethereal memories. I ended up playing my flute all afternoon. And yes, Doug, this will be the soundtrack for Sunday’s “hike.”
And there was one more way Doug was dialed in: with his absolutely obscene sex banter. The first few that came through really took my breath away. I wasn’t expecting this from someone in his line of work, I’m just going to leave it at that. The layer cake Doug was serving up had a raspberry filling on one layer, vanilla bean on the next and was smothered in chocolate ganache. I PROMISE you a taste of this layer cake tomorrow, so save some room for it.
THE MATTER AT HAND
I have decided I need to start doing a daily post to keep everyone up-to-date on the latest excitement and to continue expounding on other important topics. Doug is cool with it all, thank god, because I’m about to explode. I can tell you this… someday, I will either look back on all of this and laugh my ass off, or the neighbors in my small town will avert their eyes when they see me out walking my dog, sporting my scarlet letter. OR I will become rich and famous and able to pay off the loans on my kids’ Subaru Foresters.
I am hoping that people who love my storytelling and see some value in my thoughts, advice, music, humor, and links to other great content will contribute some small amount to my writing, so I might regularly post on the Men On Pause blog. Frankly, this is what I’d like to be doing day and night… writing about women’s experiences, every facet of them. This is my passion. And with your help, I could be doing it as my livelihood. If you aren’t sure whether it’s a worthwhile investment, revisit some of my other posts and see if we have a connection.
Saturday’s blog du jour: Do-it-yourself raunchy Valentine gift ideas. Not included: penis-shaped chocolates, velvet handcuffs, and scratchy ill-fitting lingerie.
Let me recap with another heartfelt thank you to Doug for deep-sixing the lingerie thing. What the fuck was I thinking? I hate lingerie, I hate flowers, I hate jewelry. Doug knows exactly what I like. I don’t even need to say it out loud.
Hey Tom… is that you second in from the right in the pic below? That's how I remember you from the back of the debate bus sophomore year. You provided the kindling. Thanks dude.