Wallet War

A new twist on retail therapy with Lorinda Birdwhistle

Amanda, my neighbor who owns the dry cleaning business in town, put Trump campaign posters in her Emperor’s New Clothes shop windows to show support before the election. She now has a grand total of six pairs of trousers, two dresses, one down quilt, and three button-down shirts on her carousel conveyor rack. Oops.

with Lorinda Birdwhistle

Yes, we are all on the verge of exploding — both the ladies who had the wherewithal to vote for Kamala and those of you who made the biggest mistake of your lives. For those of you who voted for Trump — what the actual fuck?! My guess is that, like my MAGA father and step-mother, Don and Edna, you probably only watch Fox News and, therefore, missed all the important information disseminated by the 758 other news outlets — you know, the folks who reported on Trump’s 88 criminal charges, his eight close allies who ended up in jail, his 30-year streak of sexual misconduct, the mob of his supporters who attacked the United States Capitol after Trump said “If you don't fight like hell you're not going to have a country anymore,” and his “staggering record of uncharged crimes.”

Hello! Trump is a bad guy. And he’s stupid. And ugly. What exactly does anyone see in this man? And that’s the thing, isn’t it? He is just a man. Not a king, nor a messiah, nor a rock star. A boring, overweight white guy with no talent, who's been married three times and is currently (oh my god) President of the United States.

Ladies! How were you not tripping over all of this information on Trump’s transgressions? It was EVERYWHERE. Oh yeah, except on Fox or Newsmax, where they wasted the last four years doing pretend investigative reporting on election fraud. Pretty sure most of you were bright enough to see through that hoax. And I’m bright enough to know you didn’t care one iota that it was a lie. You MAGA girls voted for this sociopath, Trump, because that’s the crowd you roll with. A really fucked up crowd. A crowd where all the women suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, i.e. they are plastic surgery junkies. And from what I can tell, neither the men nor the women in this crowd are really looking out for women’s rights. I’m talking about your rights, girls. The boys… their rights are engraved in stone. It’s you who stands to lose everything. Get a clue!

"The Brutal Aesthetics of MAGA," from the March 2025 issue of Mother Jones.

Let me speak frankly about my world versus yours, MAGA chicks: you are missing out on all the fun. The guys you call “lunatic liberals” are amazing in the sack, and they have huge, furry balls and a great sense of humor. And they voted in favor of everything that benefited women, unlike your boys, who don’t give a shit about you. The liberal lunatics get it: if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

Never in our lifetime would us libtards jump in the sack with one of your sad sack MAGA boys — no thank you. Not interested in any premature ejaculators, senatorial dinosaurs with ED, or one of those kinky evangelicals like Mike Johnson. Ick, ick, and ick! They’re all narcissists, each and every one of them, and they imagine their bodies are all a woman needs to get off. 😂 🤣 😂 Coffee is shooting out of my nose! Know this, ladies: every MAGA man is on the spectrum — the Peter Pan spectrum, and that does not bode well for your love life.

If this lineup doesn't make you want to switch parties and wear a chastity belt, you're a lost cause. Would someone please send Josh Hawley some chapstick?

You can also bet your bottom dollar that none of these MAGA “studs” has ever read “She Comes First.” For MAGA men, women never come first… in fact, they never cum at all, cum to think of it. In their male-centric Christian world, women are servants — domestic, religious, and sexual, as described in Ephesians 5:22-24: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.'' Holy shit — everything? If you ever needed a reason to become an atheist, this would be it.

How many more clues do you womenfolk need to be convinced you should steer clear of the MAGA and evangelical Christianity scene? It is not for women. It is 100% for men.

Pedro Pascal. 😍 Not a MAGA. Does not have Peter Pan Syndrome. Yummy.

Agnostic and liberal look pretty good to me. Damn.

My diagnosis for what is making you cranky and unkind: ANORGASMIA. Your religious beliefs about sex and sexuality, combined with MAGA expectations about gender roles and feminine beauty, are likely the root causes of your not achieving a mind-blowing orgasm or even feeling the slightest tingle. Lousy sex can lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt, disgust, shame, frustration, hatred, and RAGE. If I were “becoming one flesh” with a MAGA, I would, no doubt, be feeling every one of those emotions. Thank god (lowercase intentional) I’ve got Jesse. That guy has it down. He makes my breakfast every day, and I can count on having a first-class seat on the flight to Cloud Nine every Saturday morning (or on the occasional Sunday, like the time I was sore on Saturday after I fell through the deck on Friday).

And Jesse was proud to vote for Kamala. Real men are not afraid of a female president; they appreciate strong women. Real women. If I didn’t have Jesse (let’s say we’d never met), and Kamala had passed away peacefully with her family by her side, Doug Emhoff would surely be my top choice for Saturday mornings.

Address: 1600 Cloud Nine NW, MyTown, 69696

I’m starting to get it — your anger, girls. It could be this Republican-evangelical paradigm you’re living in — it just isn’t doing the trick, and no amount of Astroglide is going to resolve the problem.

Retractile testicles, a common affliction among Republican men, can be caused by a cold draft or the presence of Stephen Miller in the room.

I think both Democrats and Republicans are beginning to dread the pain we know lies ahead. Pretty sure no one who voted for Trump was anticipating his taking down our entire democracy and his destruction of the world economy — I don’t know, maybe they were? (note rising inflection) For those who were just hoping for cheaper eggs, you failed to heed the obvious warning signs — Trump’s goal was to be KING. Duh. Our first clue… remember his walk with Queen Elizabeth? Etiquette typically dictates that the “monarch” go first.

Just curious MAGA ladies… is that what you wanted? A king? And that Trump would be that king? What shit taste. Absolute shit taste.

The Queen’s expression says what we all feel. CRANKY.

For those playing right field, PLEASE, at least have the decency to get up-to-speed on what Forty-Seven has done since beginning his second term. Face up to your mistake — your vote for Trump. The time is now to turn off Fox News and start watching just about anything else. If you’re looking for a reliable news source to replace your FOX addiction, maybe start by visiting Media Bias / Fact Check. They rate the full spectrum of media outlets, left, right, and center. Ratings are based on each outlet’s ability to stand by the FACTS.

For those needing a quick refresher course on the damage done by the Mandarin Moron since January, Senator Chris Murphy’s lecture to Congress is superb, if also superbly depressing. This👇🏼👇🏼 is the damage you MAGA folks caused by voting for Trump — damage that will take decades to repair. Can we ever forgive you? No, we cannot.

MAGAs, if you want even a modicum of the respect you once knew, you need to change course, and immediately. It’s time to strike down Trump and Musk’s obscene system of political patronage, and we need your help. The new oligarchy doesn’t benefit MAGAs or Libtards, only Trump, Musk and the other billionaires that are part of their inner circle. If we can get these oligarchs floundering financially, Humpty Dumpty will, in fact, fall off the wall and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men will not be able to put Humpty together again. We need your help to make that happen.

The first order of business: laugh at your gross error in judgment, if you voted for Trump. Laugh at the insane mess we’re in, if you voted for Harris. Then, let’s get put on our big girls pants, and do some retail therapy — boycotting the shit out of any company or state that is supporting this MAGA mess and coming down big time on our neighbors who do the same.

Are you one of those people experiencing Buyer’s Remorse after voting for Trump? Yep — you really got ripped off. Are we sorry for you? No, we are not. You ignored your Gen X children and Gen Z grandkids when they begged you to vote for Harris. You ignored the news. You ignored your neighbors, the nice ones. The fact is this, MAGA ladies: you fucked up big time. Some of you fucked up twice. No more excuses. You owe it to the rest of the world to bring this oligarchy down. Get out your wallets, and start making things right by cutting up your Amazon Prime card, this, after you put your Tesla up for sale on CarMax. Looking for a great new EV? Check out Edmunds’ reviews. Hmm, I don’t see a single Tesla on their list of electric SUVs.

Then, enjoy Stephen Colbert’s take on the subject.👇🏼👇🏼 And you damn well better laugh. There’s nothing else to be done. Did I mention you fucked up?

War of the Wallet

OK, it’s time to get down to business. GET OUT A LEGAL PAD and a couple of gel pens (you’re gonna need a backup) and get ready to take notes. The boycotting starts today.

Guess what, ladies? You account for 85% of all consumer spending in the United States. That is $16.73 trillion buckaroos per year. Here’s how much money that is: if you were to spend $1 million every day (that’s 3600 Eileen Fisher ensembles), it would take you about 125.5 years to polish off that stack of cash. That is a lot of money. And YOU, girls, are the deciders on how it is spent. Do you get that? It is your choice whether those bucks go toward a Subaru, Honda, Volkswagen, or a Tesla.

If you’re in the market for a car, by all means, check out the reviews and ratings in Consumer Reports, but know this — the most dangerous vehicle in the United States is a Tesla, any model. Why? Because the purchase of your Tesla will put a chunk of change into Elon Musk’s pocket, and he is destroying our country. Dots connected? If you care about your family, your neighbors, and the United States, do not buy a Tesla. If you are disgusted by Musk’s dismantling of the essential government services we rely on for everything from filing our tax returns to getting health coverage to the distribution of our hard-earned social security money, don't buy a Tesla. If you appreciate the essential protections, services, research, projects, and oversight provided by agencies like NIH, FAA, EPA, DOE, DoD, DoEd, and CFPB, do not buy a Tesla. You’ll find an excellent summary of the Musk disaster on ABC News Live: “Here are all the agencies that Elon Musk and DOGE have been trying to dismantle so far.”

It’s really simple. This is a war of wallets. No guns involved. When a company throws its financial weight behind legislation that hurts those you care about and love, DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR MONEY. And know that those you elect to office are supposed to be advocating for you, not for big corporations, industry lobbyists, and the like. YES, be pissed when they back big money instead of taking care of you — their constituents, the voters, their employers.

Next time they run for office, fire those fuckwads.

Please, get pissed.

How would you feel about harnessing your financial power with that of your friends’ and family’s in an effort to alleviate this political nightmare we live in? I’m hoping you’d be super motivated and get right on it, like NOW, before our democracy collapses completely. Can we pull this off — a complete withdrawal of our money from major corporations (and small, local businesses) that support Trump and the GOP? YES WE CAN! Since money (vs. serving the public) seems to be the only thing the GOP, our president, and the oligarchs care about… alrighty — let’s make this a war of wallets. Those fuckers spend money like drunken sailors, so it should be pretty easy to empty their pockets in a short period of time by not giving them a cent.

If you find yourself tempted to revert to earlier spending habits, remember why we’re doing this… 👇🏼

Barf.

Know this — political boycotts are legal, effective, and protected by the First Amendment. Their purpose: to send a clear message (whatever that might be) to the offending party and weaken financially those who would interfere in our elections and the running of our government and who, like Musk, do not have our best interests at heart. The United States government is for The People. That would be all of us, not just Donald Trump, whose primary task as president should be his role as a public servant, someone bound by the ethics dictated in Executive Order 12674, signed by George H. W. Bush. They sure don’t write executive orders like that anymore, do they?

So, if you come across this tweet👇🏼, IGNORE IT. Donald J. Trump cannot force you to buy a Tesla. It is not illegal for you to express your disgust with Elon’s dismantling of our government by refusing to buy his cars, nor is it illegal for you to encourage your friends and family to do the same. Those of you who didn’t sleep through civics and American history are probably aware that boycotting is a legitimate form of political protest in our country. It is legal. If you need a bit of assurance on this, revisit the case of the NAACP v. Claiborne Hardware Company. In this 1982 case, the Supreme Court recognized boycotts as a form of political expression, and as such declared them protected under the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

So ladies, chill out. You can do this.

This is BULLSHIT, especially the bit about “the Radical Left Lunatics, as they often do, are trying to illegally and collusively boycott Tesla…” Political boycotts: protected under the First Amendment. Believe it.

Find a Worthy Target; Broadcast Your Intentions

The trick to successful boycotting is in choosing the correct targets, and then in connecting the dots between your actions and your demands. Businesses need to feel the heat of lost income, and to also understand what is being protested, and how you expect them to resolve the problem. They need direction on how to get back in your good graces.

Getting the message across requires documenting your boycotting deeds via social media, the local paper (or publications with a broader reach), direct emails to the business owner (be sure to CC everyone in town), and with bumper stickers on your car, and signs in your front yard. Also consider posting reviews (with boycotting suggestions) on Yelp, Tripadvisor, Facebook, Angi, Better Business Bureau, Google My Business, Foursquare, Amazon, Yellow Pages, Manta, Capterra, and Glassdoor. Keep in mind these reviews must be factual and stay on point — don’t make things up. Finally, respond to pertinent articles and opinion columns in national publications via their comments section, rounding out your thoughts with specific businesses to boycott or buycott, and why.

Will boycotting make any difference? Hell yeah, especially if you spread the word and get others joining in the action. You’ve got friends, right? And your friends have friends, am I correct? And then there’s your family, and your distant cousins, and all of their friends. And then your colleagues at work, and random people you meet on the street, and their friends. By the time you’ve completed your first boycott, you will have a shitload of new friends — friends who are on the same page as you. You’ll have not one spot open on your dance card for those hardcore MAGAs.

Are you getting it? This is a piece of cake. Make it fun.

Empty aisles. Abandoned shopping carts. This, after Target ended all of its diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives.

Choosing Who To Target (pun intended)

The thing to remember in a boycott is this — the customer is always right. If you are a customer, it is your prerogative to do business with companies whose products and services you like and with whom you are politically on the same page. If a business owner is offending you by promoting political causes you abhor, it’s this simple: they do not deserve your money. Don’t give it to them. Your money puts food on that business owner’s table, so to speak, and they should be showing their appreciation for you by either keeping their political opinions to themselves, or by backing political and social causes that you, their customer, believe in. Anyone arrogant enough to imagine they have the one-and-only great product out there is FULL OF SHIT. Yes, I am imagining Elon Musk and also that dry cleaners down the street owned by Amanda and her stepson, Arafat.

Find another dry cleaner. Nuf said.

First and Foremost: Fuck Elon Musk

Elon Musk pumped a quarter-billion dollars into Trump’s campaign, and his various charitable contributions have gone primarily toward organizations whose technologies benefit his businesses. In addition, he has worked relentlessly at dismantling every important agency and commission in the United States government, entities that provide critical services for you, your family, your community, and your country. Do not support this fucker. Period. If you own a Tesla, unload it now! A flood of used Teslas on the market means new ones will sit on the car lot unsold. You will have done a good deed. Join the Tesla Takedown! And read this fantastic article: “Used Tesla Market Heats Up as Owners Sell to Protest Elon Musk,” by Neal Boudette.

So maybe start here with your efforts — boycott anything produced by Elon Musk and the companies he heads up, namely X and Tesla. Tesla makes a lot of stuff, by the way: electric vehicles, energy generation and storage systems, solar panels and batteries for cars and home power storage. There are excellent alternative sources for these products, so get familiar with what they are so you can name-drop at the next cocktail party. Then, bring on your friends, family, your pals on social media, at work, at the health club, and in your city to join you in getting ugly. Be relentless. Be prepared for the upset you may cause. Be brave and know it is for the best. People need to feel uncomfortable supporting Elon.

Make bumper stickers (for yourself and your friends), make flyers to stick on windshields, wear T-shirts and caps… get creative. Zazzle is the place. Some of you may be thinking, “I can’t walk around town sporting a ‘Boycott the Oligarchy’ baseball cap, can I?” Yes, you can. And you damn well better. The stakes could not be higher.

If you find yourself having a hard time getting motivated to do this work and to spur others to do so, crank up the Black Eyed Peas.👇🏼 This tune dates back to 2003, but could not be more relevant.

Target Trump Properties and Israel

Now think about the over 13,000 children that have been killed in Gaza, and the over 60,000 more suffering from severe malnutrition. Then consider that Trump just sent $4 billion in arms to Netanyahu without the prerequisite of Israel getting life-saving supplies to the Palestinians. And prior to this (February), $7 billion in arms were sold to Israel by Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Both transactions completely bypassed Congress’s approval. Trump, Netanyahu, and the GOP’s cruelty have no bounds.

We must do whatever we can to help the children dying in this hellscape. For starters, join Boycott-Israel, a group from Denmark that aims to bring the Israeli government into compliance with international humanitarian law. Israel’s egregious violations are described in detail in the article “Israel’s assault on the foundations of international law must have consequences: UN experts,” which can be found on the United Nations website. If, after reading this, you have any doubts about the right and wrong of this conflict, read more.

Imagine also the people impacted globally by Trump’s deep cuts to U.S. Aid (90%). Tens of millions worldwide suddenly have no food or health clinics, and hundreds of medical programs, like those for Ebola, HIV, and AIDs in Africa, are now cut off from funds. These are programs that have, over the years, saved over 20 million African lives. Most of these programs have been stopped dead in their tracks — no warning, no opportunity to transition. The blame for the deaths anticipated will fall squarely on the shoulders of Donald Trump. Make his businesses pay! Consider taking a few minutes every day to go into the Trump Organization portfolio and pull up each category of luxury real estate. These pages include social media links. Click through and leave political commentary and recommendations for kinder places to stay on each current post. At some point, seeing negative comments will make potential customers take pause. Rub it in their face — they will be supporting someone responsible for a tremendous amount of pain, suffering, and death if they stay at a Trump property.

Where to stay... Satan's palace or The Four Seasons? Bill Gates owns over 70% of the latter.

In contrast to Trump, who gives a measley amount of money to good works while wreaking a generous amount of havoc on the world, Bill Gates contributes hugely to organizations that tackle climate change, create clean energy, are involved in Alzheimer’s research and improve global health, that combat poverty, and that support critical educational initiatives. Whatever Bill’s selling, buy it. A good place to start is by contributing to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation through Gates Philanthropy Partners, a 501(c)(3) public charity. Count on your dollars going toward well-run, essential programs across the globe. That’s buycotting.

Boycott Trump-Aligned Oligarchs

If you’re looking to avoid products and services associated with Jeff Bezos or Mark Zuckerberg, you’ll find The Complete List of Jeff Bezos Companies and The Complete List of Mark Zuckerberg Companies on ThomasNet. Spread the word on things to boycott from these oligarchs who have taken the low road on everything.

And be sure to sprinkle information on alternative social media whenever you’re cruising through Facebook, Instagram, and Threads, all of which you will hopefully soon be leaving. Bluesky is fantastic — a much kinder platform all-around. Organize a “switch-over night” with all your besties, and get the fuck off Facebook. I know it’s scary, especially if you’ve been on there for years, but it’s time. Y’all gotta quit being chickenshits. You’ll find some great new friends on Bluesky and feel a sense of relief leaving a platform that is notorious for child sex trafficking, illegal gun sales, and that no longer fact-checks.

If I hear one more excuse about why folks need to stay on Facebook, I’m going to explode! Get the hell out of there or shut up about Trump and the Oligarchs. You do not get to complain. Your complacency is why we are HERE.

Boycott Everything From Red States

Time to follow Europe’s lead and start boycotting products emanating from Red States. They think they don’t need us, so let’s prove them right and quit buying their shit. You don’t need a list of companies or products to boycott — just check the label on any given item and if that BBQ sauce says “Kentucky,” put it right back on the shelf, perhaps behind some kitty litter.

These are the Red States whose products you should avoid like the plague: Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming. There are a few more, but they are close to flipping blue, so we need to show some support.

And it goes without saying that you shouldn’t be taking your family vacations in any of these spots, especially if you’ve got California plates. Holy shit.

The point is this: if you give the assholes in these states your money, YOU are responsible for the havoc their politicians wreak. You are providing the ammunition ($$$) for them to do their worst.

Shopping Fun With Boycotting Apps

Try any or all of these great apps: No Thanks, Boycott for Peace, Boycat, Boycott X, Boycott Detective, Boycott Buddy, Buycott, and Done Good. There are many more emerging… keep an eye out for those specific to the causes you support. How do they work? You scan the barcode, and the app provides information on whether these are the good guys or the bad guys.

Boycott Companies That Rolled Back DEI Initiatives

In fealty to the King, many companies have cancelled their diversity, equity, and inclusion programs. These companies had the financial muscle to stand their ground, but chose instead to cave to Trump and the Project 2025 agenda. Was this the easy way out? Or are their leaders closet MAGAs? Whatever the case, don’t give them your money.

The companies to boycott are: Amazon, Walmart, Coco-Cola, Target, Aldi, Lowe’s, Home Depot, McDonald’s, Nestle, General Mills, Ford, Disney, Pepsi, Toyota, Nissan, Tractor Supply, American Airlines, Starbucks, Citigroup, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Google, Meta, Boeing, Deere and Co., Molson Coors, and Harley-Davidson. Fuck them all. FYI, this handy list is courtesy of the Union Workers of America.

These are the companies who are allies of diversity, equity and inclusion: Costco, BJ’s Warehouse, Proctor & Gamble, Ben & Jerry’s, Kroger, Food Lion, Apple, Macy’s Walgreen’s, Trader Joe’s, Publix, Wegman’s, Delta Airlines, Cisco, Dollar General, Dollar Tree, John Deere, Lidl, Belk, Nordstrom, JP Morgan, United Airlines, Southwest Airlines, Hershey, Ace Hardware, Panera Bread, Costco, Meijer, P&G, Vogue, McKinsey & Company, Patagonia, Madewell, Bloomingdales, Rent the Runway, West Elm, Ulta Beauty, VS&Co., J.Crew, Macy’s, Moda Operandi, Bluemercury, Kth, Sephora, Giant, e.l.f. Cosmetics, Sally Beauty, and Cisco. As you can see, we Lunatic Liberals are in good company.

Boycott Companies That Contributed Majorly To Trump’s Campaign

Oy vey. Will boycotting Trump’s campaign and inauguration contributors have any impact on what is currently going on? Yes and no. Some of these individuals are untouchable (Timothy Mellon, for example), but others are not (try Chevron and ExxonMobil). Don’t be discouraged! Go after those you can. It may seem like a drop in the bucket, but so is every vote cast. You are, in essence, voting with your wallet. Trump largest campaign and inauguration contributors you know well include Airbnb, Instacart, Coca-Cola, Ericsson, PayPal, Intuit, Verizon, Comcast, AT&T, Johnson & Johnson, Bayer, Jimmy John’s, Home Depot, Chevron, ExxonMobil, Amazon, Meta, Uber, Boeing, Wynn Casinos, New York Jets, WWE, ABC Supply, Uline, Robinhood Markets, OpenAI, etc.

Boycott Your Local MAGA-Owned Businesses

We are so past making nice, be it with MAGA neighbors and colleagues, or with MAGA-owned businesses. While it may not be advisable to go to war with your neighbors (you do need to walk your dog), what’s to stop you from going a half block further down the street to another dry cleaner? Amanda still has a Trump poster over her front counter at the Emperor’s New Clothes — really? DO NOT give her your money. MAGAs need to be brought down to size, and that will only happen if they are shunned. Nothing else, absolutely nothing, has worked. Think about that.

Come on, Girlfriends! Get out there and do some shopping therapy. We’ve a long road ahead.

More Boycotting and Buycotting

Ethical Consumer

Boycott Wix

Choose Democracy

Latino Freeze

By Black

National Action Network

Targetfast

BDS Movement

Boycott Israel

Canadians for Justice and Peace in the Middle East

Jewish Standard Times of Israel (list of pro-Israel corporations to boycott)

Boycott Zionism