Pick Three Questions
You pick the topics; I will eviscerate them
Hi there, friends who-are-bored-out-of-their-wits-on-this-long-holiday-weekend. I would love to write something funny for you, but I need you to pick the topics.
Here is a list of questions to choose from. You pick three questions, and I will answer them. Please put your requests to me in the comments section - by number. And yes, you can pick questions that others have already requested (and I will provide a unique response), or you can make up your own random questions.
What would you never want your children to find in your house after you died?
Name three words you have always wanted to use in a conversation.
Who is/was the sexiest pope in history?
What is the worst tip you ever gave someone, and why?
What is your favorite thing to do in the shower?
What monster from a movie do you feel sorry for?
What should be the name of Leticia James’ new lingerie line?
What is your favorite brand of sauerkraut?
If there was one celebrity you would most like to emulate, who would that be?
If there was one celebrity you would most like to immolate, who would that be?
What do women want, exactly?
Did you ever cheat on your colonoscopy?
Which religious denominations have the best potlucks?
Which Axe product scents cause an instant migraine?
What is something you enjoy doing poorly?
Which male celebrities would be hard-pressed to pull it off as a woman?
What was/is your favorite prank?
Have you ever lit anything on fire?
What is on your black bucket list?
What the fuck is a black bucket list?
What terrible name did you almost choose for your child?
What is your favorite male body part?
What are your favorite snacks that you eat in secret?
What articles of clothing should be legally banned for men?
What are your top 10 blasphemous names for “Jesus Christ”?
Which sardines are superior to all others?
What is the best SNL skit of all time?
Why don’t your children like you to bake over the holidays?
What are the most interesting things you’ve seen for sale on eBay?
Who was your stupidest teenage crush?
What is the worst candy ever?
How do you convey to your boyfriend that you don’t want to have sex?
Which political figures have peacocking down to a fine art?
What is the worst gift you ever received?
What is the stupidest thing a man has ever said/done to you?
If you had one free do-over, what would it be?
What stunt almost got you kicked out of grade school?
Which household gadgets can double as sex toys?
If you had a super-rich boyfriend, and he was to buy you a car, what would it be?
What is the funniest bible verse of all time?
On which popular song did you completely misunderstand the lyrics as a child?
How many beehives are too many?
Why did you never get past the first round in cheerleading tryouts?
Which celebrity would you most like to marry but never want to see his movies?
Who did you secretly crush on in The Three Stooges - Larry, Curly, or Moe?
My father gave my sister a hayride 8th grade graduation party. I asked for the same and he said no. I said that’s not fair. He told me to act my age, which was 12 at that time. He left the room and I saw his cigar matches in the table. I was afraid of fire. I decided if I could light the match, it would prove to my father I was mature for my age. I struck the match and was so afraid of the flame I threw it on the floor and caught the rug on fire.
27. What is the best SNL skit of all time?
The Arakawa Group, and Lothar of the Hill People