My father gave my sister a hayride 8th grade graduation party. I asked for the same and he said no. I said that’s not fair. He told me to act my age, which was 12 at that time. He left the room and I saw his cigar matches in the table. I was afraid of fire. I decided if I could light the match, it would prove to my father I was mature for my age. I struck the match and was so afraid of the flame I threw it on the floor and caught the rug on fire.
After the fire was put out my father was taking the 5 children horseback riding. I always had to pee for I left the house. My father left without me. Where there too many heads to count or did he leave me behind on purpose?
Watched these - hadn't seen them before. I about split my gut on Lothar of the Hill People. Absolutely hilarious. "Lately I have taken many short walks. By myself." OMG 🤣😂🤣 "Twiggly, the gnome who guards the entrance to the cave of knowledge."
Chris Andrews: I think #32 could have a number of . . . physical . . . answers . . . If one could repetitively barf and barf, that might be a good defense, too, with some guys . . .
With other guys, the woman would have to be less subtle. Maybe take him to the bear referred to in #11 . . .?!
I guess, on second thought, an egg beater might be a little . . .
Ron is clearly an idiotic. Just read some of his stuff. And think between the two of us we can come up with better ideas than Cosmo's wooden spoon and an ice cube. Working on it.
Chris Andrews: We'll keep looking. Paper clips (Cosmo's #19)?! I didn't read further on THAT one?! #23, a belt?! NO. DEFINITELY NOT into THAT ONE!
#25: A washing machine. * * * Washing machine. Yeah, I gotta admit, Cosmo HAS ME on THAT one!
In all my earthlong days, I would NOT have thought of a washing machine in . . . foreplay.
What would the MAGISTERIUM say about a WASHING MACHINE (?!?!) in foreplay?! "God did NOT make a washingmachine when HE C-R-E-A-T-E-D the PATRIARCHAL ways of procreation." Ronald L. Conte Jr. at Chapter 3:16.
11 - If this is my Uncle Dave, which I believe it is, my answer will not be as spicy. Women want you to unload the dishwasher. BEFORE, well, you know.
15 - I love cooking poorly. I've found that overcooking a roasted chicken for my boyfriend led to weeks of eating out at nice restaurants. Wait until he tries my meatloaf.
Oh yes. Lots of therapy sessions over my father. I’m actually writing a memoir about my relationship with him. He started out with L Ron Hubbard in Dianetics., he was the hypnotist.
My father gave my sister a hayride 8th grade graduation party. I asked for the same and he said no. I said that’s not fair. He told me to act my age, which was 12 at that time. He left the room and I saw his cigar matches in the table. I was afraid of fire. I decided if I could light the match, it would prove to my father I was mature for my age. I struck the match and was so afraid of the flame I threw it on the floor and caught the rug on fire.
Probably shouldn’t laugh, but I am. You showed him.
After the fire was put out my father was taking the 5 children horseback riding. I always had to pee for I left the house. My father left without me. Where there too many heads to count or did he leave me behind on purpose?
Pretty sure he might have noticed there was a kid-free horse. Might be worth a therapy session - that’s kind of mean 🥊
27. What is the best SNL skit of all time?
The Arakawa Group, and Lothar of the Hill People
Yeah.
Watched these - hadn't seen them before. I about split my gut on Lothar of the Hill People. Absolutely hilarious. "Lately I have taken many short walks. By myself." OMG 🤣😂🤣 "Twiggly, the gnome who guards the entrance to the cave of knowledge."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pET29E1Ct_U
9. Joe Biden
12. I didn't cheat on my colonoscopy. Here's that story https://www.wbur.org/news/2013/02/01/sedation-free-colonoscopy
Chris Andrews: I hope I am doing this right.
#3: Pope Joan
#6: King Kong (1933) -- Very empathic, unjustly executed.
#11: Er . . . chocolate?! Er . . . to walk in the woods with a bear and not a man?! No, not that either?! Well . . .
#22: Er . . . my right, big toe?!
#32. That's easy: Fart or . . . worse.
#38: Er . . . an egg-beater?! No . . . Ok, I think I have got it . . . An electric bulb and a AA battery?! No . . . Wait, I think . . .
Whew, that's hard! How did I do?!
KING KONG - nailed it.
#11 - The big O. Chocolate was a close second.
#22 - The exclamation point. #2 = butt.
#32 - Spot on. Though there are a litany of other correct answers.
#38 - OMG - an egg beater!! OUCH. I am feeling to shy to suggest other possibilities at this very moment. My dog is staring at me.
Chris Andrews: I think #32 could have a number of . . . physical . . . answers . . . If one could repetitively barf and barf, that might be a good defense, too, with some guys . . .
With other guys, the woman would have to be less subtle. Maybe take him to the bear referred to in #11 . . .?!
I guess, on second thought, an egg beater might be a little . . .
Hmmm.
Cosmopolitan has some suggestions, here:
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/g2325/homemade-sex-toys/
Now, of course, we might have to consult with Ronald J. Conte, Jr. about that MAGISTERIUM . . . !!
Ron is clearly an idiotic. Just read some of his stuff. And think between the two of us we can come up with better ideas than Cosmo's wooden spoon and an ice cube. Working on it.
Chris Andrews: We'll keep looking. Paper clips (Cosmo's #19)?! I didn't read further on THAT one?! #23, a belt?! NO. DEFINITELY NOT into THAT ONE!
#25: A washing machine. * * * Washing machine. Yeah, I gotta admit, Cosmo HAS ME on THAT one!
In all my earthlong days, I would NOT have thought of a washing machine in . . . foreplay.
What would the MAGISTERIUM say about a WASHING MACHINE (?!?!) in foreplay?! "God did NOT make a washingmachine when HE C-R-E-A-T-E-D the PATRIARCHAL ways of procreation." Ronald L. Conte Jr. at Chapter 3:16.
#3: Poop Paul the Turd: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sexually_active_popes#/media/File:Portrait_of_Pope_Paul_III_Farnese_(by_Titian)_-_National_Museum_of_Capodimonte.jpg
Chris Andrews: Thanks for the link. Very good. Very interesting.
Meanwhile, the quiz . . .
#3: Poop Paul the Turd.
Damn.
Almost had got that one.
Oh, well. We tried.
I think my answer about my right, big toe might be right . . .
Sounds like you're working Armand. Whatever your wife likes, bless her heart.
“11, “15, “23
11 - If this is my Uncle Dave, which I believe it is, my answer will not be as spicy. Women want you to unload the dishwasher. BEFORE, well, you know.
15 - I love cooking poorly. I've found that overcooking a roasted chicken for my boyfriend led to weeks of eating out at nice restaurants. Wait until he tries my meatloaf.
23 - Fav "snacks" - spoonfuls of Worcestershire sauce, olives, pickles, capers, ketchup.
Yes it is uncle Dave and he can handle spicy :-)
Ha ha ha!!! I'm telling Aunt Tonya.
Oh yes. Lots of therapy sessions over my father. I’m actually writing a memoir about my relationship with him. He started out with L Ron Hubbard in Dianetics., he was the hypnotist.