20 Comments
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Hannah Olufs's avatar

I came back to say this right out loud. Judge me if you must.

Your newsletter always reminds me: I have had sex with a lot of men. A lot. On purpose. The vast majority of them were shitty at sex. Really really shitty. Most didn't think so. Most didn't follow directions well, or got insecure if asked to try.

Yes, I like sex. It's about my favorite thing.

Thanks, I feel better.

Sorry if I spoiled your post, Chris.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

Enhanced it Hannah. I love what you wrote!

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

I realized after reading this that my vagina was tired from clenching. Not in a good way.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

OMG. 😂

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Skepticism Now!'s avatar

Hilarious and sobering for female readers over 50 who are single and considering staying that way.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

Oh yes. You may like this as well.

https://www.menonpause.info/p/are-you-a-nurse-or-a-purse

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

Sorry, I keep laughing at this - spot on, all of them ! 🤣

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Chris Andrews's avatar

Men. 😂

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Louise Williams's avatar

Alas, slim pickings for the gal who likes good guys. Where do you ever come up with these disasters? I do appreciate the amusing classifications, including the Latin nomenclature as well as the unique musical selections. You must comb YouTube for hours at a stretch. My personal fav was the Bible girls duet, though all were appropriated and enhanced each description quite well.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

The “where” is any place there are free stock photos. I look at the pics and instantly pass judgment on their personalities. 🌝

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Janet  Woodworth's avatar

So tired of fragile masculinity.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

🤣 A thought that runs through my head daily.

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sierra echo charlie's avatar

Oh my goodness this is brilliant and hysterical! I'm telling you this needs to be made into a coffee table book. You will make a mint! My only beef with this piece is that I cannot ever unhear Jerry Jeff Walker. Barf.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

So sorry about the brain worm.

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Deb White's avatar

Very funny! Sending to my daughter, she will love it.

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Chris Andrews's avatar

Why thank you!

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Laura's avatar

Hysterical! Thanks to my wonderful partner of 15 years, I'm not in the market. Wishing I had this field guide after my divorce and prior to meeting my partner. Yikes there are some creeps out there 😬

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Chris Andrews's avatar

😂

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Armand Beede's avatar

Chris Andrews: I will say, I have seen Senex qui vult sexus in the gym and he does sport a narcissistic, obsessive stare in the mirror. A lot.

Litore bum pueri is a quite frequent species.

Biologus qui amat sexus is unfortunately a common predator in the universities. One of my favorite scholars of world literature is Yale's Harold Bloom (1930 - 2019). Bloom was a major scholar of Percy Bysshe Shelley, William Blake, Walt Whitman, Wallace Stevens. But he was considered, apparently, a PREDATOR at Yale, though he looked like:

https://www.thetimes.com/uk/article/harold-bloom-obituary-99qvz5mfq

(See the first picture in this obituary by "The Times".)

I think you covered most categories quite accurately with the scientific names devised by Carl Linnaeus (Carl von Linné).

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

Ewww, just charming.

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