The Gilded Guillotine
Penny Nickels mulls over the parallels between Louis XVI and Donald XLVII
by Penny Nickels, editor of the Bemidji Bugle
Hi friends! I know, it’s been a long while since my last political commentary, but here it is. Finally.
TUESDAY, 11/4/25 — What a night for the Dems. No more Mr. Nice Guy seems to be the winning strategy, along with fuck-that-I’m-taking-the-low-road. I’ve decided it’s time to adopt these same strategies for my work as editor at the Bemidji Bugle. With our bosses currently overseas, the few of us remaining have decided to throw our own version of the Mar-a-Lago Great Gatsby party, which we’ll be calling The Gilded Guillotine.
In the meantime, we (the royal we) are going to write articles on every last thing going down with the Trump administration. It’s time for our local FOX-loving community to get the straight scoop from a publication that actually cares about Bemidjians: The Bugle (minus the Nachtnebels).
By the time the Nachnebels return, we will hopefully have achieved our goal of tanking their precious mouthpiece for the evangelical right, straightened out our community, and found a new owner for the publication. Fingers crossed.
Here’s to all you MAGAS out there, who imagine you’ve got the winning ticket. Tuesday was not your day. Count on an even bigger wallop on the midterms in 2026.
This Week’s Slam Dunks
Prop 50 in California: PASSED. That means 5 more Democrats in the House after the midterms. I think all of us in California have been getting our rocks off watching Gavin flex his muscles on this one. Here’s to you, Texas.
Mamdani WINS!! The soon-to-be Mayor of New York City defeated Cuomo despite being falsely painted as anti-Semitic and a Muslim terrorist by the sky-is-falling old guard Dems (Schumer & Co.) and MAGA folks who don’t even live in NYC. Last I heard, throngs (does 15 people constitute a “throng”) were bidding on condos at The Palace at Coral Gables and hightailing it for Florida. Lederhosen, you chicken shits, is what I say. Also super cool: Mamdani’s transition team is all female — Grace Bonilla, Maria Torres-Springer, Elana Leopold, Lena Khan, and Melanie Hartzog. Hell, yeah!!
And even more than Tuesday’s being a big night for Democrats, it was a HUGE NIGHT FOR WOMEN. Democratic women kicked ass everywhere.
Mary Sheffield, a Democrat, will be the first Black woman mayor of Detroit, winning with 77% of the vote! This, in a city that has seen 75 mayors, all of them men. Damn, girl!!
And Democrat Mikie Sherrill will be the second woman to serve as governor of New Jersey (the first being Christine Todd Whitman). For the first time ever, Virginia will have a woman governor, Abigail Spanberger, and the lieutenant governor, also a woman (and Muslim), Ghazala Hashmi. Rounding out Virginia’s leadership will be Attorney General, Jay Jones, who is young, Black, and (drum roll, please) also a Democrat. Woo hoo!!
Jacob Frey, of the Minnesota Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, won a third term as mayor of Minneapolis, and Aftab Pureval, a Democrat who is half-Indian and half-Tibetan, won a second term as mayor of Cincinnati, beating out JD Vance’s brother, White evangelical pastor Cory Bowman. Now there’s a message to the White House: your VP has zero clout, and his brother’s being an evangelical Christian didn’t rack up a single brownie point for him in this election. Not even in a red state. Sad.
And in Pennsylvania, the people have spoken. They chose to retain three state Supreme Court judges (including Maria Battista), who had been originally elected as Democrats. These wins came about in spite of the millions of dollars spent by conservative billionaire Jeff Yass in promoting their Republican counterparts. Democrats also won special elections for seats on Pennsylvania’s Superior Court and on its Commonwealth Court. Two more women: Alice Beck Dubow and Stella Tsai.
And finally, Democrats surprisingly flipped two seats on Georgia’s statewide Public Service Commission with Peter Hubbard and Alicia Johnson.
The best part: Trump’s endorsements were like a jinx, especially for Mario Cuomo. Donald’s superpower? Killing any GOP candidate’s chance of getting elected.
At last I am free! Until this week, when I resorted to chewing off my left arm, I had been tethered to a draconian list of rules imposed by my publishers, Zacharias and Dotty Nachtnebel of Eternal Word Publications. The rules were simple, yet disturbing: I was not to write anything calculated to weaken the Trump administration, question the “common will” of the American people, the Department of War, MAGA culture, or the Trump economy. And I was certainly not allowed to publish anything that offended the evangelical right, especially the Baptists, Pentecostals, and other mixed nuts in town who now outnumber Bemedji’s more chill Lutherans, Methodists, and Catholics.
In short, the newspaper was down to horoscopes, want ads, a community calendar, the police blotter, pet of the week, and a monthly menu for the Golden Haven Rest Home. There was also to be a light sprinkling of headlines, which were to focus on sports and local news, though only the pleasant bits. Even my fluffiest pieces were riddled with potential landmines, especially the photos and TikTok videos, as daily, legions of locals could be seen on street corners and at local sporting events with their “No Kings” placards and T-shirts, and Bad Bunny covers were replacing John Philip Sousa marches at the halftime shows for the local football games. FYI — Bad Bunny is the controversial headliner slated for the Super Bowl LX halftime show. No surprise he has received a lot of backlash on FOX (he is Black, if you catch my drift), and there is even a petition circulating to replace him with George Strait on the February 8th game.
For the love of god, MAGA folks, give it a rest. Don’t you have leaves to rake?
So, how was I to write about what was going on in Bemidji without bringing up the obvious — that there were hundreds of people in our small town protesting daily, many right outside our office. Add to that the fact that no one was getting their food benefits, and that local farmers had crops rotting in the fields for months for lack of farmworkers. Holy shit. That was a lot of ignoring I was expected to do, and not going to lie, it was driving me to drink. Who knew Diet Coke had so much caffeine? I don’t think any of this affected the Nachtnebels — not one iota — as they seemed to be free and clear of anything in the empathy department —Dotty preoccupied with refreshing her wardrobe for the upcoming holidays and all — she simply didn't have the time, nor the energy, for dealing with our community’s problems. We can all appreciate that.
Yep, Eternal Word’s language on those editorial directives — suspiciously similar to the Schriftleitergesetz of 1934, as issued by the Third Reich’s Ministry of Propaganda. For those of you fluent in German, who can also read Fraktur — you may want to give it a read.
All I can say is thank goodness I can finally speak my mind, after all those months of stuffing the pages of the Bugle with saccharin drivel. Zach and Dot are currently vacationing in Hungary (for two months!), hanging out with Viktor Orbán on a charter yacht (the Lady Mrd), and trusting me to make all editorial decisions without their input. Just like the good ol’ days (pre-Eternal Word). Praise be!
And hey, since I’m burning down the house on this opinion piece, let’s dish the dirt on Viktor and revisit his asinine views on trans people and the LGBTQ+ community. Prime Minister Orbán and his Fidesz-led government are extreme in their anti-transgender and anti-LBGTQ+ policies and have gone out of their way to make life miserable for these people. And all of this for what? Pretty sure Orbán is exacting revenge because he couldn’t pull off looking sexy as the opposite gender if his life depended on it. There is no doubt in my mind Orbán tries on his wife’s undergarments when she’s at the hairdresser’s and he has his chest hair waxed by the Vietnamese lady at the corner nail salon. Orbán doth protesteth too much, me thinks.
Trump’s SNAPfu
Let’s discuss a concerning situation that has been unfolding over the past two weeks — a situation that ruined Halloween and which now threatens to derail Thanksgiving for millions of families. Despite court rulings ordering the Trump administration to pay out SNAP benefits during the government shutdown and to utilize the USDA’s contingency fund to do so (this being one of those emergency situations it was intended for), Trump has chosen instead to defy two court orders, then suggest that only half of the benefits be paid out, adding that recipients would not have access to those reduced benefits for some time — likely weeks, perhaps months. There was no concern expressed whatsoever. No acknowledgement of the hardship this would cause. No suggestions on how to cope. ZERO LEADERSHIP. And a preoccupation with shifting the blame.
Then, this week, Trump went so far as to state he would not be paying out any benefits for November, even though he had been ordered to do so. Or perhaps it was because he had been ordered to do so. Message received: Trump can do whatever the fuck he wants. He is the decider. Laws and court orders do not apply to him. No judge gets to tell him what to do. AI had this to say about Trump’s oppositional style:
“Yes, narcissists can be oppositional due to their core traits of entitlement, need for admiration, and lack of empathy. Their oppositional behavior often stems from a belief that they are superior and special, which can lead to them resisting criticism, challenging authority, and demanding that things be done their way. This oppositional stance is frequently observed across all areas of their lives, including work and personal relationships.”
As is becoming clear, there is now only one branch of government at the federal level. That would be the executive branch. And that branch has one leaf. A very tiny one.
And while Rome was burning on October 31, Trump and all of his buddies were partying like there’s no tomorrow at Mar-a-Lago. The theme for this Great Gatsby-inspired party was “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody.” Not only did Trump not read the room, but he obviously never read the book, as evidenced by the party’s slogan. This lavish party featured over-the-top décor, burlesque dancers, and circus-style performers, live music, decadent food and beverages, an elite guest list, and the booze flowed, although Don likely stuck to his usual Diet Coke.
The next day, November 1, food benefits were set to expire for 42 million Americans. And they did.
And as the rich and well-connected were recovering from their post-Gatsby hangovers, Trump and Co. were quickly pulling together everything needed to fight the dispersion of SNAP benefits in court. Tooth and nail. Trump, Johnson, and crew seemed sadistically eager to cut off food from 42 million Americans — people they obviously (based on their actions) believe don’t deserve food, or healthcare, for that matter. The MAGAverse portrays EBT recipients as parasites on society — you know, poor people, the unemployed, the elderly and disabled, vets, working families, and children. Fuck them all is clearly the message from the GOP. Those SNAP benefits — that’s not their money. These people are lazy, and they don’t deserve our help.
A favorite talking point of the president’s is that most SNAP recipients are Democrats. “Largely, when you talk about SNAP, you’re talking about Democrats,” Trump said. “But I’m president. I want to help everybody. I want to help Democrats and the Republicans. But when you’re talking about SNAP, if you look, it’s largely Democrats. They’re hurting their own people.” Hmm. I do think that man needs to do his homework. “Among all states, those with unified Democratic control had an average SNAP participation rate of 12.5 percent, compared with 10.5 percent for Republican states and 11.7 percent with split control.” It would seem there are a helluva lot of folks impacted by SNAP in Republican strongholds. Just saying. All of the above, by the way, is from the “failing” New York Times article, Fact-Checking Trump’s Claim About SNAP and Partisanship.
Enjoy these insultingly ignorant MAGA quotes regarding SNAP — from people who live on another planet:
“It’s rewarding people who abuse the system.” — right-wing podcaster Stephen Crowder / NOTE: the fraud rate on SNAP benefits is less than 1% per the Trump Administration’s own statistics.
“The federal government has been paying Americans not to work by feeding, housing, and medicating them for ‘free,’ and then wonders why we have so many useless, jobless, helpless people.” — conservative bitch, Ann Coulter
“The president has made it a priority to, at least for the short term, continue funding programs like WIC, and food stamps, or SNAP.” — Agriculture Secretary, Brooke Rollins / NOTE: “for the short term,” huh?
“Why is it that we are subsidizing food for people that weigh 300 pounds?” — Rob Schitt Schmitt of Newsmax
“We are too fat a country to have 41 million on food stamps.” — Matt Gaetz, former fatso
“I am going to introduce a bill to ban all non-citizens from any form of welfare.”— Florida GOP Representative, Randy Fine / NOTE: Undocumented immigrants have never been eligible for benefits, and the GOP has already seen to it that refugees and asylum seekers are ineligible.
“It is insane that there are 42 million Americans on food stamps. That is a wild statistic.” — Ben Shapiro of Daily Wire / NOTE: In 2023, the official poverty rate was 11.1 percent, with SNAP benefits going out to 12.3% of the population. There were 36.8 million people in poverty in 2023, according to the United States Census Bureau.
What the MAGAverse would have you believe is that most SNAP recipients are Black women who take advantage of the system — that they are people who do not deserve food assistance. Reality Check #1: The majority of SNAP recipients are white. From Huffpost: “White people accounted for 44.6% of adult SNAP recipients and 31.5% of child recipients in 2020. Meanwhile, for adult recipients, 27% are Black, 21.9% are Latino, and Asian Americans make up just under 4%.”
“Rage bait” videos, like those below, which are exclusively of Black women, are designed to stoke up feelings of disrespect and hatred toward Blacks, and to kill trust in a system that provides much-needed food assistance to millions. Reality Check #2: The number of SNAP fraud cases is approximately 14 out of 10,000 recipients, or .14%. Pretty damn low, especially when compared to the fraud taking place in the White House, which is at 100% last I checked.
A less than 1% fraud rate does not warrant the dismantling of this important program, which not only feeds 42 million Americans but also stimulates the economy. Recipients shop at grocery stores and markets, which boosts retail sales while supporting farmers and jobs throughout the food supply chain. In addition, SNAP frees up cash, which can then be spent on non-food purchases, rent, and medical bills.
Here’s the rub: Trump absolutely does have the power and authority to fund SNAP. He could have done so without hesitation or conferring with the courts or Congress. Not only could he have accessed those USDA contingency funds, but he could also have authorized the government to release money from other sources in order to prevent SNAP from failing its recipients. The USDA had clear access to additional money, namely the $23 billion in Section 32 funds, which could have supplemented their contingency fund.
The point: Trump had the power. He chose not to use it.
Pretending the situation was legally out of his hands was bullshit. Additionally, his excuse of having to follow the law — now that is laughable. As we all know, the law has never been an impediment to Trump’s getting whatever he wants, whether as a private citizen, a business owner, a pedophile, or in his capacity as a public servant (I use that term loosely). There are legitimate mechanisms in place for resolving the SNAP problem during a government shutdown. Trump has simply feigned ignorance on the matter to avoid paying out money to people who have no power. He is really getting off on that, in case you haven’t noticed.
The Center on Budget and Policy Priorities had this to say about the SNAP situation:
“The Trump Administration recently claimed that SNAP benefits are not available for November 2025 because SNAP’s ‘contingency funds are not legally available to cover regular benefits.’ This stands in opposition to the law and prior practice, including by the Trump Administration itself. Also, the Administration could use its legal transfer authority — the same authority it already used to provide additional funds to WIC — to supplement the contingency reserves, which alone are not enough to fund families’ full benefits for November. The Administration must use all available options to fund November benefits for the 1 in 8 people in the U.S. who need SNAP to afford their grocery bill.”
You heard that right: Trump could legally have used those contingency funds, AND he had the authority to replenish those funds as needed. He knew it, the USDA knew it, the Justice Department knew it. They’ve been taking us on a ride for weeks, and as Jen Psaki says, “They are using Americans as leverage.” Leverage for getting funding on every single thing set forth in the BBB and by Project 2025.
Watch Mike Johnson, Dr. Oz, and others lie outright about what is going on (with commentary by Jen Psaki):
All of this legal posturing, and Trump’s edicts on Truth Social — all of it is gaslighting, as is the bullshit being doled out by Mike Johnson and other GOP leadership. They are simply parroting talking points from Project 2025 as they work to dismantle the Affordable Care Act, divert attention away from the Epstein files, and slip all sorts of pork into the BBB. And now, they are refocusing their energy on dismantling food assistance programs, another long-time goal of the GOP.
Then, like a miracle, along came the government shutdown. This was the perfect opportunity for the GOP — a chance to get rid of SNAP, and pin the blame on the donkey, i.e., Democrats. And, voilà, if they got the timing just right, they might also be able to throw the November 4 elections in their favor.
The good news: Americans across the political spectrum were starting to get it — that the GOP is full of shit. The November 4 election confirmed what we have seen transpiring in our neighborhoods: disillusionment.
This may be the Christmas to end all Christmases — the one where Christian charity dies. The Christmas where 42 million Americans are starving, agriculture collapses, corporations fail due to the rising cost of supplies and a shrinking market, the job and housing markets tank, we enter into a war with Venezuela, and then in January, as people are suffering from some of the worst financial and emotional stress in their lifetimes, millions will find themselves without healthcare because it is now unaffordable. By 2026, millions are slated to lose their marketplace coverage, with millions more unable to get coverage due to the newly implemented barriers to receiving it. Most insurers are projecting premium increases of almost 20 percent, and when the PTC enhancements expire, what people pay out of pocket will likely double.
The Christian right — this is their platform. They own it. And what a great bunch of people they are. The rapture cannot come fast enough. Please, god. Take them now.
Hey!! For all you so-called Christians out there, a little reminder that there are literally 100’s of bible verses that speak to the issue of helping the poor. Taking care of the poor seems to be the #1 trending topic in both the Old and New Testaments. Give this a read, if you’ve forgotten Jesus’ take on the issue: “100 Bible verses about caring for and serving the poor.”
Since Trump’s inauguration last January, his administration has exacerbated food insecurity for millions of Americans by terminating the funding that had been used to purchase food for schools and food banks, and by severely cutting back SNAP benefits (this prior to SNAP’s current emergency). The long-term goal of the GOP and the Trump Administration: to close down all social programs. The current government shutdown just happened to be the perfect vehicle for this — an opportunity to finish quickly a job they’d already started, while allowing them the opportunity to foist the blame on Democrats.
I’ve not even touched on how all of this will affect farmers, grocers, and food processors. They, too, will be reeling from the end of these programs, multiplying the pain they’ve already been experiencing as a result of Trump’s obscene tariffs. Trump’s tariffs are KILLING the sale of American agricultural products worldwide.
Needless to say, last week, folks were losing their cookies (literally) while stress-eating Twix fun-size candy bars, wondering if they’d have enough money to buy groceries for the family, cover rent, and pay their health insurance premiums. No one felt reassured by Trump’s suggestion that doing longer trick-or-treating routes would help compensate for the empty shelves in 42 million pantries across the United States.
Numerous lawsuits, court orders, Truth Social posts, and press conferences later, an order was issued on Thursday, 11/6/25, this time by Judge John McConnell Jr. of the U.S. District Court in Rhode Island, where he said: “They knew that there would be a long delay in paying partial SNAP payments and failed to consider the harms individuals who rely on those benefits would suffer.” In his order, McConnell reiterated that Trump must pay all of November’s SNAP benefits in full by yesterday, Friday, 11/7/25.
The Trump Administration then announced it would comply with this court order, as if it had always intended to do so, but immediately filed an appeal. Huh. How does that work? We’re happy to pay out these benefits, but wait, no, we’re not. The appeals court responded immediately, before the afternoon was out, saying it would not block the previous day’s order to pay out the SNAP benefits in full. But, wait!
I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what happened next, on this Friday from hell. The Justice Department, headed by that evil bitch, Pam Bondi, asked the Supreme Court for an emergency stay on November’s SNAP benefits. The Solicitor General, D. John Sauer, requested that the stay begin no later than 9:30 p.m. ET that very evening — Friday evening, the work week over, and after normal business hours. Perhaps no one would notice.
And sadly, the Supreme Court acquiesced. When the Boston appeals court declined to intervene, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson issued an order pausing the requirement to distribute full SNAP payments, at least until the appeals court could rule on whether to issue a lasting pause.
I think we know where all of this is headed. SNAP benefits are likely ending for 42 million Americans. Forever.
And when people are starving and without gainful employment, and their needs unmet, Trump and his pals can expect consequences similar to those that befell Louis XVI, or Citizen Louis Capet, as he was known at his beheading in 1793.
Last Tuesday, Senator Amy Klobuchar delivered remarks to Congress in an effort to timeline this shit show for posterity.
Never, in the history of food stamps and SNAP (86 years), has a president and his party worked so hard to strike down a program that positively impacts the lives of their constituents.
At some point, this MAGA nightmare will end and the china shop will close, but probably not until the bull has broken every last Wedgewood tea set.
Fallen Empires and The Factors That Led To Their Demise
THE FALL OF ROME
✔️ Political instability caused by civil wars and a lack of clear succession
✔️ Corrupt officials and internal strife weakened the military and government
✔️ Economic distress exacerbated by the lavish lifestyles of the Roman elite, overspending, inflation, and heavy taxation
✔️ Reliance on slave labor
✔️ Division of the empire; wealthier East unwilling to help the struggling West
✔️ Attacks by the Visigoths and Vandals
THE FIRST FRENCH REVOLUTION
✔️ Corrupt monarchy and internal strife weakened all aspects of government
✔️ Financial crisis exacerbated by bankruptcy from war debts, excessive taxation of commoners, clergy, and nobility tax exemptions, and the lavish lifestyle of the monarchy
✔️ Inequality on all levels of society: financial, social, religious, political
✔️ Political discontent stirred by the ideas circulating — of equality, freedom, and democracy (The Enlightenment)
✔️ Hardship of epic proportions caused by lack of food and poor living conditions for the majority of the population
✔️ The establishment of the Convention Nationale
THE GILDED GUILLOTINE (following Trump’s “Golden Age”)
✔️ Political instability caused by corrupt leadership and internal strife, weakening all aspects of government, including the military
✔️ Usurpation of the powers of the judicial and legislative branches of the federal government and dismantling of all government agencies that serve the people
✔️ The Bill of Rights and Constitution of the United States eroded by a partisan Supreme Court that has abandoned its responsibility of upholding its foundational law
✔️ Economy decimated by loss of immigrant labor (collapse of agriculture, construction, food processing, etc.), millions of jobs lost in the public sector, collapse of the international market for American goods as former allies retaliate in response to draconian tariffs, deterioration of the entire job market due to reduced demand for American goods
✔️ Economic chaos ensues: runaway inflation, stagnant labor market, devaluation of the national currency, stock market bottoms out
✔️ Political unrest exacerbated by flagrant displays of the lavish lifestyles of the president, those serving him, and oligarchs, as they deplete public institutions and corporations of much-needed resources, resulting in reductions in pay and erosion in the quality of products and services
✔️ Hard-earned advances in the quality of air, water, agriculture, waste management, regulation of chemicals and toxins, etc. reversed as agencies tasked with protecting the public are emasculated
✔️ Hard-earned advances in human rights reversed as landmark laws are struck down or go unenforced
✔️ Public health institutions mismanaged and experts dismissed, leading to health crises nationwide
✔️ Evangelical Christians control all levels of government; public and private educational institutions are required to adhere to evangelical Christian tenets
✔️ Overwhelming food insecurity, lack of affordable housing, collapse of medical institutions, failing infrastructure, etc., cause hardship for the middle and lower classes
✔️ Political discontent stirred by desire for equality, free speech, democracy, fair wages and taxes, universal healthcare, affordable housing and childcare, education for all, and social safety nets
✔️ Religious institutions and oligarchs are essentially tax-exempt, while middle and lower classes pick up the tax burden through increased pricing on all goods resulting from tariffs (these are, in essence, regressive taxes)
✔️ Inequality of opportunity, education, pay, and civil rights reinstated for women, minorities, and vulnerable individuals
✔️ Collapse of alliances with all countries except those with authoritarian leaders
It goes without saying that our current situation is worse, by far, than the Fall of Rome or the French Revolution. Trump’s Golden Age is a boulder on toothpicks — the collapse of our democracy inevitable.
And the revolution to follow, also inevitable. Are you ready for it? Who, besides Margaret Atwood, anticipated this is where we’d end up?
“Que Louis meure, pour que la nation vive!” — Maximilien Robespierre, 1792 (translation: Louis had to die for the nation to live)
