There are many lovely older men out there who would make great companions. The trick is finding the best ways for men and women to find others who share their energy level and are on their wavelength intellectually, politically, etc. These dating apps are superficial in how they determine these connections, as my friend David above alluded to.
I don't believe this: "nearly 70% of the people who meet online end up in a romantic, exclusive relationship."
A big part of what makes a good relationship--as I said to my friend Jack in 1982 in answer to his question that was driven by his dissatisfaction with the ditzy women he went out with--is that if she were a guy, she'd make a good best friend.
But best friendships are relatively rare, because it's hard to find people you mesh with that well. (Of course, a powerful mutual attraction can bring to people together in a best friendship. My major dating in the last six years was something like 9 months on eHarmony. I probably went out with around 13 women, and I didn't click with any of them. I read an account of app dating in... probably the NYT mag maybe a decade ago. If I remember correctly, the author, a woman, went out with... the number 87 men sticks in my head. Somewhere around there, at any rate. She and the last of that bunch clicked, and they stuck together.
One of the problems with the dating apps is a lot of them--such as eHarmony--have formulas they think work. They ask a bunch of questions, and put the answers through some fricken algorithm. The questions eH asked didn't give me confidence, and my lack of confidence was justified by the results. NADA. And the numbers of women who were supposedly right for me were low. I probably went out with a majority of the women they matched me with.
I was probably on eHarmony before COVID, and I just haven't felt motivated to go on any dating sights since. But in answering your questions, I've just now concluded that I should avoid any that match people via their own algorithms based on questions they ask that I have to answer. So, thank you Chris for providing the means by which I came to that conclusion.
EDIT: now that I think about it I think I did meet one woman on eHarmony with whom I clicked. The problem was that she had bad hip joints even after hip replacements. One day we went on an expedition in the car up Boston's North Shore--a drive where I normally stop and do some walking in different places. At our first stop, she had trouble walking about 100 feet. At that point I realized it just wasn't going to work for me, alas.
Hear you loud and clear David. My best connections I meet directly and in experimenting this month with dating apps found the questions asked didn’t jive with who I am and i imagined it would be a miracle to connect with the right person. Sad to hear about your friend with the hip issues. It’s important to have someone who is on your level physically - that would be a big sacrifice to be unable to share athletic activities. Likewise for her constantly trying to keep up with you. Hopefully you can both find the right person.
Love this!!!
This is a good public service for lonely old men. Hope you get some takers! Could benefit some ladies as well.
There are many lovely older men out there who would make great companions. The trick is finding the best ways for men and women to find others who share their energy level and are on their wavelength intellectually, politically, etc. These dating apps are superficial in how they determine these connections, as my friend David above alluded to.
I don't believe this: "nearly 70% of the people who meet online end up in a romantic, exclusive relationship."
A big part of what makes a good relationship--as I said to my friend Jack in 1982 in answer to his question that was driven by his dissatisfaction with the ditzy women he went out with--is that if she were a guy, she'd make a good best friend.
But best friendships are relatively rare, because it's hard to find people you mesh with that well. (Of course, a powerful mutual attraction can bring to people together in a best friendship. My major dating in the last six years was something like 9 months on eHarmony. I probably went out with around 13 women, and I didn't click with any of them. I read an account of app dating in... probably the NYT mag maybe a decade ago. If I remember correctly, the author, a woman, went out with... the number 87 men sticks in my head. Somewhere around there, at any rate. She and the last of that bunch clicked, and they stuck together.
One of the problems with the dating apps is a lot of them--such as eHarmony--have formulas they think work. They ask a bunch of questions, and put the answers through some fricken algorithm. The questions eH asked didn't give me confidence, and my lack of confidence was justified by the results. NADA. And the numbers of women who were supposedly right for me were low. I probably went out with a majority of the women they matched me with.
I was probably on eHarmony before COVID, and I just haven't felt motivated to go on any dating sights since. But in answering your questions, I've just now concluded that I should avoid any that match people via their own algorithms based on questions they ask that I have to answer. So, thank you Chris for providing the means by which I came to that conclusion.
EDIT: now that I think about it I think I did meet one woman on eHarmony with whom I clicked. The problem was that she had bad hip joints even after hip replacements. One day we went on an expedition in the car up Boston's North Shore--a drive where I normally stop and do some walking in different places. At our first stop, she had trouble walking about 100 feet. At that point I realized it just wasn't going to work for me, alas.
Hear you loud and clear David. My best connections I meet directly and in experimenting this month with dating apps found the questions asked didn’t jive with who I am and i imagined it would be a miracle to connect with the right person. Sad to hear about your friend with the hip issues. It’s important to have someone who is on your level physically - that would be a big sacrifice to be unable to share athletic activities. Likewise for her constantly trying to keep up with you. Hopefully you can both find the right person.
Thank you Chris! And she certainly deserves to find a right person.
I had better luck online in the '00s when the people running the apps didn't try to manage things.